How I Wish...........

It has been a week since i broke off with vin. cant sleep everynite tats y i need to rely on med n drinking to make me feel tired n sleep. i am so tired of life like tat. every nite i will dream of vin. dreaming tat we r still together happily. i noe i have to let go of him n carry on with my life. but i jux cant. i really cant. n no one will understand. i loved him too much until i cant bear to hate him. nw i am trying all my best to destroy my life. i will drink n smoke.... n i dun noe how long i will have to carry on with life like tat. i am sure even if i can find another good man, i wont love tat man. cos my heart is lock by vin. n i cant find the keys to unlock it. i am so tired. i noe pple encourage me but they dun noe wat i have been thru. i can give up anything for vin but in the end he still chose to leave me. since he dun even care so y shld i bother on my life. might as well i destroy it. i am lost nw. no direction dun noe where i shld go. i hated my life.