SAD!!!!!!!

Juz read Vin's blog. Before i finish reading tears flow out of my eyes. I didnt realise tat he was so afraid tat when he go temple i would be mad at him. I tried veri hard to control but sometimes i juz dun noe why. I always tell myself i cant be selfish. fr the day i noe him i should have noe that he needs to go temple. i should be more understanding, but if he is not back at hm i juz cant sleep. n bcos of this i am veri tired the next morning. i cant concentrate on my work properly the next morning. I tried to force myself dun think of anythng juz go sleep but i juz cant. i oso cant rely on pills all the time. what should i do? can someone tell me. i really dun noe what i should i do. i noe what he did was all bcos of me. but i juz cant control my temple. cos i am afraid of loneliness. i dun like the feeling of being throw aside. i hate myself. hate myself for being so unreasonable. hate myself for not being understanding enough. feel like killing myself nw.......