Guilty........ :(

I juz finish watching the frintline fr channel 8. Last part of the show is taking abt abortion. There is this lady who aborted her child when she was four months preg. Wat she say makes me think of my past again. I did abortion twice. One in last yr, one in this yr. Till nw i still cant forgive myself for killing my own child. The lady on the show said that the child is not our property so we have no rights to discard them like that. She's right. We have no rights to end a new life like tat. I noe my child wont forgive me. Cos i killed them. I am juz a murdered who is no convicted. I cant forget n forgive myself. I dun noe how or wat shld i do. i am such a lousy mum. Y in the first place i choose to kill them. I shouldnt have done tat. i really regretted. How i wish i can bring them back to life again. whenever i c children i would always ask myself, if i did kill my own child they muz have been veri lovely n cute nw. They muz have bought me a lot of joy nw. I really wanna to say sorry to them n tell them: my dearest children, mummy miss u a lot. N mummy really regretted for wat i have done. If ever mummy can choose again, mummy wont choose to discard u juz like tat. Pls forgive ur lousy mummy.