finally i went clubbing again.........

long time never went clubing. i almost die without clubbing as part of my life.... finally i went with my colleagues yesterday... went wif rina, ann, sarah, eric, weixiang, andy n wahney. its wwas real fun n i havent let go of myself for a long time. i totally drop all my trouble n stress. really enjoyed myself so much.....my new life has began. i like my new job. n those colleagues who click wif me really can play well. although i eveyday got nasty cust but i dun care... cos they cant c me scolding them n i cant scold them, pt fingers at them whenever i like.... its so much diff fr the bank. i learnt to play while working... stress abt my problems will go off when i go to work... right nw i am trying my best to solve my problems n shit.... i hope i dun bring vin anymore trouble... cos i had cause him enough trouble.... bcos of me he had done a lot... n i wanna to tell him i appericate it... i noe i am veri bad temper at times... but when i am stress i cant control the things i said... n at all times i dun mean it wan.... i juz say it out to vent my anger n purposely hurt him... at times i do get hurt too.... but i hope he can spare a tot for me as well cos sometimes his temper can be real bad too.... i noe its hard on him esp nw such bad things happened. i jux wanna to let him noe quarreling n throwing temper cant solve our problems.... i am so tired of quarreling with him cos i am so stress up. n when i get stress up i juz wan him to console me n nt add fire on me. a lot of times i got a lot of feelings to tell him but i juz cant bring myself to say it out.... i need him to sense it.... understand it without having me to say it out. sometimes when i am unhappy i dun even dare to tell him cos he seems like always saying i am always in the wrong..... i dun like tat feeling of being blamed........ i noe he loved me n cant lose me... i loved him n cant lose him too..... its a kind of special bond which tie both of us tightly together.... dar i juz wanna to let u noe i wan to solve problems with u but i dun like the feeling of being push... i like to do things my way cos i do have a reason too. n i hope u can understand it.... i grow up in a veri unique family... n i cant choose my family so i got to accept the fact tat they r like tat. they care for me but they care using their unique way... after all they r my parents so i understand them too well. dar i dun wan to have any arguement with u anymore.... can we promise each other nt to let our temper cover our hearts n eyes.... if pple wanna to tear us apart den the more we shld stick together n prove him wrong............ i believe if we support each other there is nothing we cant do... look at me nw... if i can learn to work n play at the same time, i can oso learn to work hard to solve problems... time will let us grow.... pandar............. i love u..............