Its a BAD sunday.....

I cannot imagine myself giveing up church service bcos of my bf.... I think this is the worst thing I had ever done. I am feeling very moody nw. Going service has been part of my life. But I choose to give up bcos of KT.... Today is a Sunday. I am suppose to go church service at 5pm. Since fri I had been staying at KT's house. His grandmother n mums wanna to visit one of their sick relatives in the afternoon. They ask if KT is going anywhere bcos they wanna him to send them to visit their relatives. I ask KT to go service with me but he refuse. This is what I cannot understand. I am hoping that we have something in common bcos we are no longer working in the same company. So I hope going to church together will bring the both of us closer. Ever since I left my pervious job, a lot of problems started. Nw whenever I tell him abt my job I don't even noe if he understand a not. Or maybe he can't be bothered...... Coming bk to the service today.... So its like very rushing for him to run here n there. So I told him, I will not go service today. But deep in my heart I felt pain. I oso do not noe how come I felt pain. I guess bcos after a long tired week of work , going to church service really calm me n my temper down. But KT didn't even realised I am feeling pain in my heart. I guess he don't even noe that every week I go service, I actually feel more peace in my heart. Only GOD knows. I think from nw on I will not ask him to go service with me anymore. Bcos he is not interested. So its not point for me to ask. i have done all I can. A lot of times when I encounter problems in my life I can only write it out. No one to turn to... Especially when I am very unhappy at work...I can onli drop tears alone.... I think its fated for me to have such life..... I really resign to fate..........